The Boston Celtics are NBA Champions. News of this hit me hard, almost as hard as the realization that I'd lost my iPhone while exiting a taxi outside Laguardia Airport. The iPhone? It can be replaced, by the much cheaper model that comes out July 11th. The Celtics as champs? That's forever, man.
So now Boston has two defending champions. If you want to count the Patriots (who actually play in Foxboro, Mass, like idiots), then Boston sports teams have now won 6 titles this decade. As Philadelphians, it drives the dagger a little deeper into our collective bellies. To see a region which for a period of time defined sporting futility now become the hub of the sporting universe is... the exact opposite of what we wanted to see.
What's worse, on the same night that the Celtics won their 17th title, the Sox blanked the Phillies 3-0, behind a dominant pitching performance from young Jon Lester. The lanky lefty had no trouble slicing fastballs past Utley and Howard, and the question still persists whether the Phils' big bats are equipped to handle good pitching.
This post is too depressing. I LOST MY FUCKING iPHONE. And now I'm stuck at Miami airport, apparently 13 minutes away from boarding our flight that's already been delayed by 2 hours. Tropical Storm Miley Cyrus is starting to make her presence felt, and threatens to delay our flight another 2 hours. What is the deal with having an airport in Miami, anyway? Is it not like trying to fly the Millennium Falcon out of the Death Star? Here is a picture of Chewbacca throwing out the first pitch at a baseball game.
Shit sucks right now. I need a girlfriend, a phone, a haircut, 8 hours of sleep, and Boston to die. In that order.