Friday, May 22, 2009


The Fightin' Phils vs. the Bronx Bombers. The World Fucking Champions vs. The Evil Empire. Philadelphia Phillies vs. New York Yankees. Only when digging beneath the monikers does one realize the colossal difference between the two storied franchises.

As far as old baseball teams go, the Phils and Yanks could not have less in common. The Phillies have lost more games (over 10,000) than any professional sports franchise in the history of the world. The Yankees have exerted more dominance (26 World Series) than any organization since homo sapiens dominated those bitch ass neanderthals into extinction. The Yankee legacy evokes images of Babe Ruth pointing to center field, Lou Gehrig's speech, and Reggie Jackson's magical October. Phillies lore conjures memories of the tobacco stained carpet at Veterans Stadium and seas of empty blue seats standing witness to guaranteed mediocrity.

Any meeting between these two diametric opposites draws parallels to a confrontation between David and Goliath. The Phillies and Yankees have met 10 times - ever - with the Yankees winning 9 out of those 10 games, including a 4-0 sweep in the 1950 World Series. New York has dominated interleague play since its inception; the Phillies have struggled mightily against the American League.

But this time around, the Yankees are at the height of their corporate evil, with a 1.5 billion dollar stadium standing as a pillar of greed in these hard economic times. Seemingly half of their roster is linked to the use of performance enhancing drugs. For all of their $200 million annual salary, the could not even make the playoffs last year.

This time around, the Phillies are the World Fucking Champions. And this weekend, everyone in New Yankee Stadium is going to hear about it.

Go Phils.

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